The edits on Destined Hearts are moving along. Slowly, but they are moving. I’ve been staring at this ms for weeks now, flopping back and forth through it fixing things as I saw them and thought – there has to be an easier way. I finally cut it to pieces. 6 chapters per ‘chunk’ and bingo…it worked. I’ve already finished the first 12 chapters and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. WHY I didn’t do this earlier is beyond me. I’ve always done things the hard way. It’s a curse…one I’ve learned to live with. LOL
My deadline is looming. I’ve got a little over 6 weeks to get this thing polished up and sent on its merry way. What started out, as a 66,500 word ms is now a little over 73,000. And I can see that number rising. I’m guessing somewhere in the neighborhood of about 75,000 when all is said and done.
I always get nervous when editing. I guess every writer does. It’s the whole – Am I wasting my time? Will anyone even like this story? Did I just spend the last 6 months slaving over this thing for nothing? All those insecurities come creeping in and sabotage you when you aren’t looking.
I’m not a writer who can pump out a story and have it up and ready to go in a month or two. Oh, I can write that fast. But there is no way I’d let anyone read it. I’m the kind of writer who agonizes over every word. One who finds faults in everything I wrote. Every action my characters took. And I always let a handful of people read it and beg them to trash it. I want to know ‘what is wrong with it’. I guess that all falls back to my intense insecurity where my writing is concerned. I don’t ever think it’s good enough. There’s always room for improvement and I just don’t know when to stop. I usually stop when my deadline is up and I have no choice but to wrap it up and send it on its way.
I fear my future projects will be the same. All the others have been. My internal editor and I will always clash. I can’t shut her up and I can’t write fast enough to please myself. Is there ever a balance between the two? Only time will tell.
Until next time…