The edits on Destined Hearts are moving along. Slowly, but they are moving. I’ve been staring at this ms for weeks now, flopping back and forth through it fixing things as I saw them and thought – there has to be an easier way. I finally cut it to pieces. 6 chapters per ‘chunk’ and bingo…it worked. I’ve already finished the first 12 chapters and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. WHY I didn’t do this earlier is beyond me. I’ve always done things the hard way. It’s a curse…one I’ve learned to live with. LOL

My deadline is looming. I’ve got a little over 6 weeks to get this thing polished up and sent on its merry way. What started out, as a 66,500 word ms is now a little over 73,000. And I can see that number rising. I’m guessing somewhere in the neighborhood of about 75,000 when all is said and done.

I always get nervous when editing. I guess every writer does. It’s the whole – Am I wasting my time? Will anyone even like this story? Did I just spend the last 6 months slaving over this thing for nothing? All those insecurities come creeping in and sabotage you when you aren’t looking.

I’m not a writer who can pump out a story and have it up and ready to go in a month or two. Oh, I can write that fast. But there is no way I’d let anyone read it. I’m the kind of writer who agonizes over every word. One who finds faults in everything I wrote. Every action my characters took. And I always let a handful of people read it and beg them to trash it. I want to know ‘what is wrong with it’. I guess that all falls back to my intense insecurity where my writing is concerned. I don’t ever think it’s good enough. There’s always room for improvement and I just don’t know when to stop. I usually stop when my deadline is up and I have no choice but to wrap it up and send it on its way.

I fear my future projects will be the same. All the others have been. My internal editor and I will always clash. I can’t shut her up and I can’t write fast enough to please myself. Is there ever a balance between the two? Only time will tell.

Until next time…

Lily

My website is down at the moment. Apparently the host is having issues with something. I really wish they would have informed me of this before I saw it. It really irks me to find out on my own. A simple note would suffice. Anyway – it should be back online soon. I hope.

I have many reference books in my writing arsenal. Many in which I turn to daily for one reason or another. But there are times when that ‘one’ word eludes me and no amount of searching helps. That one perfectly perfect word escapes my thoughts and no matter how many books I drag out, it never comes. Sure there are words that will work but the one whispering to me in the back of my mind slinks away to depths unknown. This one perfect word, the one that would make the entire passage come together and cause all the anguish and joy you’re feeling to explode on the page and make it all worthwhile, is hidden. Locked away, never to be seen. Does one ever find that one perfectly, perfect word?

I’m editing and in my hated task is the chore of finding the right words to make everything I’ve done come together. To blend each new line with the next, a seamless sting of perfectly perfect words that make the story flow and progress to the conclusion.

I’m not sure one ever finds this word. No matter how many times I go over a manuscript, I always find new words to use instead of the one I wrote. You change and add until what you feel is on paper. Until your characters are living, breathing entities that cry and laugh and whose emotions bleed through the page and affect you profoundly.

But is it ever enough? Do you ever truly find the word you were searching for? Some do. Some have a knack for it. Others of us struggle. We struggle to find that one word that changes the lives of your characters and leaves them permanently altered.

I’ll keep searching for that perfectly, perfect word. I only hope that one day, it finds me in return.

I’m in love with the word Before. My crit partner has been going over Destined Hearts and pointing the word out to me. Apparently my over-use of it is distracting to her. So, I thought I’d see exactly how many times I used it. Out of the entire 71,500 word ms, I used ‘before’ 764 times. Yeah, I’d say I was in love. LOL Now the task of highlighting each one and trying to rework the sentence.

It’s no surprise its there though. My last story was the word ‘as’. I over-used it too. I cut those and made the entire draft much cleaner. I just wish I would have learned my lesson and not made the same mistake in this manuscript.

I’m curious as to what the next story will bring. What one word will sneak in there and be the gnat in my story. I almost can’t wait to see. I hope its something more interesting than as or before. I need a real challenge!

I’m eyeball deep into edits at the moment. I’ve cut and shifted text, re-written an entire chapter and I swear, its like 1,000 fiery needles digging into my brain! I really hate editing. Have I ever mentioned that before?

I love to write. The freedom to just let your fingers flow over the keys while your brain is going into overdrive is exhilarating. The editing of all the crap you typed when you were on your roll? Not so much fun. LOL

But – I’m not going to think about that at the moment. I’m going to share. The following is an excerpt from my upcoming novel, Destined Hearts, due out Feb. 2008. Remember this is still in the editing stage so all typos and general blunders are mine…so don’t steal them, okay? *wink*

This is a small scene from the beginning of the book. Our heroine, Caitlyn, has just finsihed cleaning the apartment of our hero, William and doesn’t quite make it out in time.

Destined Hearts Excerpt:

“You almost finished in there?”

“Yes,” Caitlyn said, giving the counter another swipe with her dust cloth.

Maggie poked her head into the room. “Great. We’re finished then. I’m going to go ahead and take the cart down. Be sure to turn the lights out on your way out. I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

“Okay,” Caitlyn told her as she watched her leave. She gave the bathroom another look and turned to the door. She flipped the light out before once again stopping to give the bedroom a good look.

Everything was immaculate. The black satin on the bed was smooth and perfect. The furnishings were dust free and the carpets spotless. Everything was done.

So why was she still hanging around?

Because you don’t want to leave. She sighed heavily and turned to the door, slowly making her way across the room. She stopped at the bedroom door when she heard the elevator doors open. Her eyes widened at the sound of his voice and her heart raced in her chest.

She looked around the room frantically and spotted the closet. She ran to it before she could even question why.

He entered the bedroom, his cell phone held tightly in his hands and stopped at the foot of the bed.

“No we don’t have time for that,” William said. “Reynolds has already said he didn’t want that to happen.”

He looked out the windows and shrugged his shoulders out of his jacket, tossing it on the floor before he pulled at his tie. “Okay. Just talk to my father and see what he says. I don’t know what else to tell you. I’ve done as much as I can for now.”

Caitlyn’s eyes were wide as she peered through the crack between the double doors of the closet. Her breathing was almost out of control and a fine sheen of sweat broke out over her brow.

She watched William toss his tie to the floor by his jacket and mentally slapped herself for being so stupid. Why did she hide…in the closet of all places? What if he opened the door? How would she ever explain her being there?

Why the thoughts of him finding her in his bedroom made her almost delirious with anxiety, she didn’t know. He already knew she helped Maggie clean the offices. But like usual where he was concerned, she wasn’t thinking clearly. She ran the minute she realized he was in the apartment. The closet had seemed like the most logical place.

Now, as she watched him, she wasn’t so sure.

His stark white shirt was pulled from his pants and his head was cocked to one side as he held his phone to his ear with his shoulder. She could see him unbuttoning his shirt and she swallowed heavily before closing her eyes.

A loud “snapping” sound caused her to open them and she watched him tossed the phone on the bed before his shirt fell from his body. She couldn’t force herself to look away no matter how hard she tried.

His shoulders were wide and she could see the muscles in his back ripple with every movement. His skin was tanned to a warm bronze shade and her eyes traveled the length of his back to the slim line of his waist and hips. When he turned, she exhaled the breath she was holding in. His chest was well defined and the muscles on his stomach made her throat swell instantly. He was simply beautiful.

When his hands went to the waistband of his trousers, Caitlyn’s eyes widened before she forcefully snapped them shut.

Every thing grew quiet and Caitlyn counted to ten before opening her eyes thinking he’d left the room. She was wrong of course. She peered through the crack in the door, noticing he’d turned his back to her and her eyes widened when he suddenly pushed his pants down over his hips.

The sight of his naked backside met her eyes and her mouth gaped open. There wasn’t a tan line on him and she swallowed heavily around the lump in her throat as she stared at him.

He turned and walked across the room, her eyes closing when embarressment burned her cheeks. She laid her forehead against the door before she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She heard the shower come on in the bathroom.

Opening her eyes back up, she grabbed the door-handle and gave it a small turn before pushing it open slightly.

She was almost dizzy as she breathed heavily and waited. She watched the bathroom doorway to make sure he wasn’t coming back out and chewed on her bottom lip. If she made a run for it and he caught her, she’d die of embarressment. But she couldn’t stay in his closet all night either.

Taking a deep breath, she looked to the open bedroom door and ran.

William walked back to the sink and opened the cabinet, pulling out his toothbrush before shutting the mirrored door. When it swung closed, he stopped as something in the bedroom caught his eye in the mirror. Turning his head quickly, he turned and walked to the door and smiled as he saw Caitlyn run from the room.

He stood in the doorway of the bathroom and looked around his room. His smile widened when he saw the closet door slowly swing shut. He heard the doors on the elevator close and he licked his lip, turning back to the bathroom.

“Someone’s been a naughty girl,” he said to himself and laughed. The thought of her seeing him undress caused him to stand a little straighter and a small tingle ran through his body.

He looked up into the mirror at his reflection. “Well, Will ‘ole boy. You’re thirty-three years old. It’s about time you learned a little about cars, don’t you think?”

His reflection mirrored the huge smile that covered his face before he laughed again and looked down at the sink. A bright red hair bow caught his eye and he picked it up, running his fingers across the material. He laughed and tossed it back down on the counter and turned to the shower.

As he stepped inside under the warm spray of water, thoughts of Caitlyn with motor oil splashed across her cheek met his inner eye. “Oh yeah. Most definitely time.”

It’s finally release day! A Touch of Heaven is now available.

Summary: A harmless trip to The Pleasure Dome, an elite club that features the hottest male dancers in the country, sets Paige’s mind to reeling. Especially after meeting Simon — the main attraction.

This story is a Free Read! To get your download, head over to Alinar Publishing!

One of the great things about paid publishers is once the book is written, they take care of all the other things. The editing, formatting, cover art, ISBN numbers, etc, etc, etc. Being an independant author those things are done by me. I hire editors, cover artists, format my own novels according to what the site requires, book promo…the list goes on. Thankfully I have a great resource of willing authors to push me in the right direction to obtain the things I need to do all the tiny things you take for granted.

The PDF version of my stories, while easy to make, take more time than I thought. What was an easy step, just hit print, isn’t as easy as once thought. The page size isn’t what it should be and I’ve given myself a headache trying to get it sized right. You would think it wouldn’t be an issue but, it is. The html version is also giving me a fit. My word program adds in all this extra…stuff that I have to manually take out. What should be an easy thing is taking me more time than I think it should. Maybe I’m just being really daft about it all. It’s probably as easy as hitting a button and I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill. That would be the story of my life though. I can never take the easy route.

No one said writing was easy. Sure its fun and gives you a chance to play in worlds you can only imagine but all the tiny things one takes for granted can suck the joy and fun out of it. So, hats off to publishers who take the brunt of this process. I still think the author has the hardest part, writing an exceptional book, but once that is done, the real work begins. Which I should be doing now instead of whining about the process. 😉

I just finsihed the last edit on A Touch of Heaven and sent it off to Alinar Publishing. It’s due for release in 2 weeks! I’m so happy to finally have this completed. It means I can move on and get to work on something else….like Destined Hearts! I have it open now. I pasted it into my template and of course, the formatting went all wonky on me. *rolls eyes* It’s just a jumble of lines. I have to manually seperate each and every one of them. I’m not sure why it did this. Maybe the template? Hard to say. I’m not worried about it though. I want the formatting perfect before I start messing with text and after spending an entire day reading my last book a little mindless formating problem won’t kill me. I don’t think I have the brain cells left for heavy editing anyway. I’ll leave that for tomorrow. The cover has been fonted and I can’t stop looking at it. LOL It’s so great. Dan did a fantastic job on that cover. It’s by far my favorite cover.

I will be posting a few excerpts from Destined Hearts in the coming weeks/months leading up to the release in February just to wet the appetite a little. This story is 5 years in the making and I’m SO happy to finally be able to share it. I only hope it is read and enjoyed as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. The romance between Caitlyn and William has been living inside my head for years and it will be nice to finally share their story.

Anyway…I’m off to format this thing before bed time. Have a good week!

Until next time….